Samir and I met in June 1991, a year of heavy monsoon in Ahmedabad. He moved in with me within a month and we’ve been together ever since. The love has endured for over 30 years and if India recognised marriage between two gay men, we would have been legally married.
Samir and I are different but we fit together perfectly. I’m a Bengali, he’s a Gujarati Jain. He’s vegetarian, I’m not. I think the best relationships are complementary, where two people constantly discover each other. You’re never bored. The fascination never ends.
Ahmedabad is fairly liberal and we lived in a rented apartment in the Western suburbs, where our neighbours were all very friendly. They knew we were a couple but nobody had any problems with it at all. We have always been a very social couple, throwing regular dinner parties for our friends, both gay and straight. I think socialising together is important to relationships. Hosting a party, where you stand together as a couple, is a celebration of love.
Samir and I eventually moved to Mumbai for 18 years, where our circle of friends grew even larger. We had been active in the LGBT scene in Ahmedabad and this only increased in Mumbai. We were a part of GayBombay, an organisation committed to the LGBT cause. We marched in every LGBT Pride March. We were part of the massive celebration in Mumbai when Article 377 of the Penal Code was repealed by the Supreme Court and homosexuality was finally legalised in India. Doing community work together certainly strengthened our bond.
The two of us travelled a lot, in India and abroad. We often went to Kolkata and Delhi, where my family is. But we also went on fun trips of discovery to every part of India. As those who have experienced might know, travelling by its very nature puts a strain on relationships. So many decisions to be taken. So little space to take them in. But the travel experience is also a lesson in adjustment and once you’ve worked out a system, it’s a dream. Couples that travel well together are usually the happiest.
Dibyendu and Samir…dont know whether you guys remember me or not. I was Deepal’s flatmate in Goyal intercity. My best wishes to both of you. Hope your relationship remains as strong always.